7 months

Obviously, I have been slacking in this department, considering the last real post I made was 6 months! Time really is flying though...

Well this last month has been a good one. Probably the best one so far of your little life. You are just so much fun these days. You just know us so well, and are turning into such a little man!

You are an expert army crawler. You can't quite get on all fours and move (granted you can get onto all fours, you just haven't figured out how to move), but you can get across the room at lightening speed on your belly. We are going to officially need to babyproof the house. I caught you standing up on the stairs last night, scary!! I have no idea how you lifted yourself up onto them, but you did. And you were so proud of yourself!

You still don't really like solid foods that much, we haven't discovered your favorite thing yet. You will eat anything that you can hold yourself (crackers, toast, your bottle), but you don't like it when we feed you. I think you like to be in control.

This past weekend your dad went to Beaver with Grandpa Steve to fix the roof of your great grandparent's house and you and I got to spend 2 whole days together! It was awesome. You are so much fun to play with.

Your new thing is when it is bedtime, you start laughing hysterically, knowing that no one can resist it and we won't make you go to bed. I can't get you to laugh like that any time except bedtime.

You also love going into the bathroom and kitchen. I think it is because it is easier for you to move on the smooth floor than the carpet. Either way, we know where to find you when we turn our backs for a few minutes.

I love you buddy. Next month is your first Halloween! Yay! I don't know what you are going to be yet, better start looking.

Also, you are growing out of all your clothes at a very quick pace. In fact, I have to go buy you some new jeans and church clothes this week so that you can actually look presentable for church on Sunday.

You're the best kid ever. I hope you know how much I love you, and your Dad does too. Actually, everybody loves you! ..But don't let it go to your head :) ..

XO

Mom

6 months

Hi honey! 

Sorry that this is a few days late, your actual 6 month birthday was very busy!   You have grown so much since last month, when I last wrote to you.  Today was actually your 6 month check up, and you are 20 pounds, 4 ounces, and are 26 inches tall!  You are in the 90th percentile for weight, but only in the 50th percentile for height, so you are taking after your dad in the height department, and your mom in the weight department! :) Your doctor is always so amazed at how healthy you are!  And how cute you are :)

This last month you had a lot of firsts, it was your first family vacation, your first family reunion, your first taste of solid foods, and you have accomplished so much developmentally!  You loved California, you went in the pool, and in the ocean, and had your first real family pictures with my side of the family.  You were by far the cutest one in those pictures.  And the least irritated with the photographer.  You had your Farrer Family Reunion in Beaver a couple weeks ago, and you were the best behaved baby.  You tried rice cereal (you like it), and vegetables (you don't really have a favorite, but you like carrots and sweet potatoes), and fruit (which you don't really like).  I will add a video of your first taste of peaches.  

You are a champ at rolling around now, you can go front to back effortlessly and you love being mobile! About a week ago, you discovered how to scoot! (Although the baby books call it 'creeping').  You can get up on all fours, but then you faceplant.  You'll get it soon enough though :)  Your doctor said that boys usually crawl between 9 months and a year, so we'll see.  

You are SUCH a happy baby.  I can't tell you how grateful we are for how good you are to us.  Thank you!  You are so loved Holden.  Everyone can't get enough of you!  

I'm sorry that I'm not a better mom to you, someday you will realize that I am just doing the best that I can.  And I hope that you will get it.  I do love you though, more than anything.  You're the best son a mom could ask for!

Happy 6 months baby cakes!

Love, Mom. 

Another month flew by...

Dear Holden:

WoW! You are 5 months old today. That is just crazy! Time is just flying by, I feel like you should be like 1 or 2 months old. You are changing every day, and getting cuter every day. You are a rolling over champ now, except you aren't too good at getting from your belly to your back, and you end up getting frustrated.

You grab at EVERYTHING now! Your favorite things to play with are this blue hippo toy, my wallet, and otter pops (unopened, of course!). You also love to do this new thing where you chomp your gums together haha, it's hilarious. It is probably part of teething, but it looks so so funny. You just crack your dad and I up. Last weekend your dad went hiking with your grandpa and uncles and great-grandpa and you and I got to spend 2 whole days together! It was awesome. You came to work with me, and you were SUCH a good boy. You just make me so happy.

We are going to California in 3 days, I'm so excited for you to see the beach! I hope you like it. I'm sure you will be going there a lot in your life.

I wish more had happened this past month, but you are just growing up so well! And getting so big. At your last doctor's appointment about a month ago you were 17 pounds! I'm sure you have gained 1 or 2 more pounds since then. You are getting so heavy - but that is a good thing.

Anyways, I love you son! You make your dad and I so happy. Thank you for being you! Happy 5 month old birthday!

It's been a while...

So it has been a long time since I have blogged, pretty much too long...

Life has been crazy! Josh has been coaching Daniel's baseball team, and I have been working a ton, and so that means blogging goes to the bottom of my list.. I swear the older Holden gets the more time he takes up of ours.

Anyways, he is almost 4 months old, can you believe it? Every day is starting to act more and more like a kid and not a baby. He made his first mess (mischievous look included), rolled over (both ways!), he can officially laugh, and he can also feed himself! Josh just gives him the bottle in the swing, and Holden can prop it up on the tray and feed himself the whole thing! It's crazy. I doubt Holden realizes he is doing it but we think it is pretty sweet.

Overall, we are doing well, and loving being parents. And hopefully Holden is loving being our kid. We had our first family vacation this past month. We went to Beaver for the traditional Farrer family Memorial Day retreat. It was so much fun! Josh, Holden and I stayed in the cabin up in the mountains, and we all got the best sleep of our lives! We had to wake Holden up each morning, he just loved sleeping up there. We are also gearing up for our next vacation, we are going to San Diego at the end of July. This will be Holden's first time across state lines, we are pretty excited! He will also get to see his great-grandma and great-grandpa Quesenberry for the first time, and see the beach for the first time! I'm sure he will love it.

Anyways, thats all the update for now! I'll write more when I can!

3 months ago

Dear Holdy-poo:

Three months ago today, you changed my life. Before you were actually here, I knew that you would, but I had no idea to what extent.

You really are the best part my life, and I never knew how much I could love someone. The past three months have gone by so so fast, and that makes me sad, but I can't wait for you to get older, and start talking, and walking, and learning everything there is to know about this crazy world. I can't wait to teach you whatever you want to know, and for you to ask those questions that seem way too mature for you to ask, but I just know that you will want to know.

I love how far you have come in the past three months. I love how you study my face, and then after about 2 seconds you recognize me and a huge smile comes over your face. It is like you smile with your whole body, your arms start flailing and your legs start kicking, and I know you know it is me.

I love how much you love your dad. You guys are best buddies, and I love that you are so good for him. Thank you for not being a pain in his bum (even though he is probably a pain in yours sometimes!)

You always are so alert and happy. You can hold your head up perfectly now. I might just be a proud mom, but it seems like you are extra strong! When you sit on my lap and kick my stomach I remember how bad it hurt when you did that when I was carrying you.

I hate leaving you every morning, it literally breaks my heart every day. I can't wait until I can hang out with you all day, instead of coming home every night and seeing how much you have grown in 10 hours it seems. Even thinking about how cute you were this morning, when I got to play with you for a few minutes while Daddy made you a bottle makes me smile. You are so cute in the mornings, it is your favorite time of the day. It is like you are so happy to see us after the 10 hours you were in sleep zone. And we are just as happy to see you.

And even though we are probably teaching you a bad habit, I love the way that you love American Idol just as much as your daddy and I. You only get fussy on the commercials.

I love you nugget. You are my sunshine. I am so grateful for you in my life. Thank you for being you. I can't wait for the next month, and the rest of your life!

Love, Mom.

Hello world!!

I just wanted to show how cute our little boy is!!! We raided our upstairs room where we stashed all the clothes that wouldn't fit Holden.. and then I got the serious urge last week to buy tons of cute clothes for him, so I went upstairs with the hope that he would fit into some, and amazingly he fit into most all of them!!! So I got over my urge to shop and pretty much got Holden a whole new wardrobe from upstairs.  And here is what he wore to church today, and I'm glad that we found it because it fits him perfectly and that won't last for long... 

Church went well though, he only went through 8oz of milk, and one poopy diaper!  All in an hour and ten minutes! Much better than expected though.  

Update!

Well I am trying to write this as fast as I can before Holden starts crying.  I can hear him cooing over in his swing but I am sure that will get old in just a few minutes and then he will realize that I am on the couch and not holding him, and that just won't do!  It's like he has a 6th sense and knows when Josh or I are in the room and not holding him and it drives him crazy!  Anyways, yesterday was his 2 month well baby check up (and his awful immunizations!)  On the check-up side, he is doing great!  He weighs 12 pounds and 12 ounces and is 23 1/2 inches long! Or in other words, almost 2 feet tall :)  The doctor said that he is doing great developmentally, which is good news.  I always worry that we aren't doing enough to make his brain grow, and that he will just be slow and it scares me!  But then he had to get his shots.  Of course, I couldn't watch and I made Josh be the mean one and hold him.  But luckily it was really quick and he only cried for about a minute, then fell asleep from the Infant Tylenol we loaded him with beforehand.. I am just glad that is taken care of for 2 more months!  Shots aren't fun!  

Anyways, here are some pictures we took today.  Notice his new onesie that says "Party at my crib at 2am"  It makes me laugh every time I see it!! 

Thank you!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone that came today to the blessing!  It went so well (Holden didn't even cry!) and it turned out to be a really great day.  I didn't take any pictures, but other people did, so hopefully I can get some from my grandma and I will post them asap!

We have the best friends and family!  Love you guys!

A little preview of what is to come on Sunday.... But I hope with a happier face!! 

Yay for Wicked!

So in honor of Josh and I, his sister and his mom going to see Wicked in a couple weeks, we decided to christen his Green Babies Rule onesie!  When they went to see Wicked in LA last summer they got it for him and we never thought the day would come where he would actually fit it!  And it is a good thing that we tried it when we did, because soon he wouldn't be about to wear it he is growing so fast!  [On a side note, we measured him today and he is 24 inches long now and weighs almost 12 pounds!]  

On the bum of the onesie it says Wicked, but the camera died before we got a picture of that.  

Sad day..

Josh took Holdy to Beaver today to visit Jason and Aunt Kris, and even though I wouldn't be around them anyway while I am working, I hate that they are 2 hours away!!! I wish I could have gone with them!

I miss him so much! He was so super cute this morning when I fed him before I left for work at the crack of dawn.. I can't complain though, those 5am feedings are some of my favorite things! He is definitely a morning baby. It usually takes about twice as long as it should because he will get distracted and just smile and giggle while I am trying to feed him! I love him!

He has been in a bad mood the past few days, I don't know why. They say that the crying and fussiness will get worse until about 2 months, then it will get slowly better. He will be 2 months in less than 2 weeks, so I hope that is true! Josh is such a trooper for putting up with the new onrey Holden though all day every day. He is such a good dad! I truly appreciate that I don't have to leave my precious baby with daycare, that I know he will be 100% taken care of while I am gone. But I can say that I wish the day would hurry and get here that I don't have to work anymore!! :)

Julie (Josh's mom) was kind enough to offer to buy Holden his blessing outfit.  So her, Erin and I went to a few different places yesterday up in Salt Lake to see if we could find the perfect one.  And, after enduring the super mean old lady at White Elegance, we did!! I am so so excited about it, and if you want to see him in it you better come to his blessing on Easter Sunday!  He is going to look so cute in it.  Hopefully he won't kill me in 20 years when he sees pictures of him in it... Now I just need to figure out a way to make sure he won't cry throughout the whole thing.  

Either way, I am really excited!  :)

Pictures!

So it has been a while since I have posted... well like 2 weeks. Life is crazy and busy! Holden is getting so big and cute! Josh's parents and sister came down on Saturday and hung out for the day and luckily we got to enjoy the amazing weather before it was gone on Sunday. We went for a walk and went fishing it was so much fun! Holden is getting more into a routine these days, he usually sleeps from about 12-6 (when I have to wake him up to feed him before I go to work), and then about 7-10! It is so nice for us. He is such a good baby. I keep waiting for him to get sick or something and then we will really struggle!

Here are some pictures from yesterday in some new pj's that we got for him! He has grown out of all of his newborn pj's already!

One Month Old!

So yesterday was Holden's one month birthday!  It was a pretty uneventful day, but he did get to go on his first walk!! He doesn't really like the stroller that well, so we ended up holding him for most of it, but overall it was fun!  I can't wait until he is bigger and it is warmer so we can go on tons more!  Then it will be good exercise for me too :)  Here are some pictures of him yesterday with my brother Daniel!  I think he looks so cute! 

Baby Shower and Lazy Sunday

So yesterday the Baby Shower Open House was amazing!! Holden is totally set until he is like one! Everyone was so nice and kind and overall it was a really really fun day! Erin and Josh's parents were so great. It must have been hard for Erin to have so many people in her brand new house but I am so grateful that she did! We love you guys! Today we have been playing with the toys and organizing all the clothes. Holden loves his swing! And the travel crib is also so so cute! I love all the clothes, and we are so glad that we got so many since he is growing like crazy! I was so proud of Holden, I figured he would have his freakout around 3, but he was super well behaved until around 7 (which was 6 hours of people everywhere)! I was proud of him. I love that he is such a good baby. I also love when he has tons of people around because then he sleeps so good at night! He slept from 1-8:30 (9:30 because of daylight savings) and Josh and I were so happy! The pictures are of him yesterday with his grandma and one of his cousins, Sammy. And we also took some pictures of him in one of his new outfits that he got yesterday and we got him to smile a bit!

What I missed while I was working.... :(

So today was my first day back to work.  It actually was only a half day, I start full time on Monday, but it was still really really hard!  I hadn't even made it out of the driveway before the water works started.  Luckily my mom was on her way back from her walk and was right there to tell me it was going to be okay before I left.  I realized that the only way to keep it less hard was to keep myself occupied so I wouldn't have any breakdowns in front of my co-workers.  The only close call was to Tonya (the receptionist), when she asked me how I was doing.  But other then that I did okay.  I just worry that he will forget about me or something cool will happen and I  won't be there to see it.  I hope he will understand someday why I have to work, and not be mad at me!!  I just love him so much I hated being away.  

Anyways, tomorrow we are all headed up to SLC to Aunt Erin's house for Holden's big party.  It is Josh's family's turn to throw him a baby shower.  We are all really excited to see the family and to relax and have a fun day!  Hopefully we will take pictures and I will post them!

First Real Public Outing

So we are about to leave for our first family outing in a public place.  It is my grandpa's 75th birthday party tonight at Goodwood BBQ.  I think that if it were anywhere else we wouldn't be going, but Josh can't resist a good steak!! 

I am about to go into ultra protective mom-mode, so hopefully we will be okay!  I will post pictures later. :) 

New pictures

Clothing Casualties..

So while I am attempting (slightly unsuccessfully) to slim down and fit into all my clothes, my giant of a son is already growing out of all of his!  He isn't even 3 weeks old yet and so far he is too big for at least half of his newborn outfits.  Luckily he wore everything at least once, so that is good! 

And I bathed him today for the first time by myself!  (Not his first bath, but the first time by myself).  I haven't liked giving him baths and hearing him cry but he did really well!  And now he smells amazing.  

I am going back to work on Monday, which is exciting, but scary too.  I will most likely have a huge emotional breakdown on the drive to work, but it will hopefully be okay.  It is time to go back.  The longer I wait to go, the more I never want to go back!  So wish me luck! 

2 week check-up

So today Holden had his 2 week well baby check up.  I can't believe he is already 2 weeks old!! We got there and the first thing they had to do was his PKU test.  I didn't think that it would be that big of a deal, but it was really really hard for me to watch!  I made Josh hold him and I had to just look away and try not to have a break down when they poked his heel.  They had to poke his left heel twice and his right heel once because he wasn't giving enough blood.  It was really sad.  I think that shots and needles are going to by far be the hardest thing to watch as a mom. 

Then we met with the doctor, and he said that Holden is in the 95th percentile weight/height wise, and his head circumference was above average.  So that was really good news!  He now weighs 10 pounds exactly, so I can get some weight lifting in now without having to go to the gym! :)

The only not great things were he has a bit of a yeast infection (the doctor said that it is common though), but he gave us some cream for that and said it should be better soon.  Also, his left eye has been weepy since he was born and he said that was because his tear duct canal is small, but that is also not a huge deal and so he gave us some eye drops. 

Overall, Holden passed with flying colors, and we don't have to go back for 6 weeks hopefully!! 

Baby announcments

So I ordered some test baby announcements/thank you cards yesterday.  They should be here sometime next week, so for all of you amazing people that have been SO helpful and kind this past month, don't think that I am slacking, they are on their way I promise!!

I ordered them from Shutterfly, so I am hoping they turn out, hence the 'test' announcements (because you never know when you order stuff online).  If they do turn out, then you all will be getting one soon!  

Thank you again though!! He loves his gifts!!

Photo Shoot with Daddy

So today my mom and I went for a walk and left Holden with Josh.  When I came back there were about 25 pictures of Holden in different poses and Josh with a guilty look on his face.  I think it was because he wore his camo outfit that Josh's mom got him with the camo shoes that my co-workers got him and it was adorable!  Here are a few of my faves:

Grandpa Steve!

Today we were so lucky to have Josh's dad, Steve, come visit for the day! Josh's mom and sister were VERY jealous, and we wish they could have come too, but it was good to see him, and Holden was happy too!

This leads to another first that happened today. Josh and I went and ran some errands while Grandpa watched Holden by himself! We were only gone about 40 minutes (that was pretty much how long we could handle being away from him), but he did so good! No freak outs or crying fits-from Holden or Josh and I :) I was so proud of our baby (and of us!)

He also came bearing gifts from Grandma Julie and Aunt Erin! Grandma sent the cutest books that she got for Holden. I can't wait to read them to him! Lizzie kept wanting to read them over and over again. Erin got Holden a really cute outfit also. I can't wait for him to be able to fit it! It is 3-6 months, but at the rate that he is growing it will fit him in one month.

Speaking of growing, I can't believe how different he looks in just a week. I am attaching some pictures of him today, he is starting to look like a little man! Anyways, last night was a little rough, we let him sleep too much yesterday and so he did NOT want to sleep last night. He was just wide awake, and would get so fussy if we turned the lights off. So today we took him outside and have all the blinds open and so far he has been awake most of the day. Hopefully that will help Josh and I get more sleep, because last night was not fun at all.

I can't believe that he is 10 days old! It has gone by so fast. Josh is out fishing, so I am going to get back to watching Fashion Police's recap of the red carpet at the Grammy's! :)

Uncle Jason came to visit!!

Here are some pics of Holden with Jason.  He flew in from Boston today and stopped by our house on his way to Beaver!  Him and Katie bought him the most adorable Red Sox hat and shirt!  The shirt will take a while to grow into, but we tried the hat on and had a photo shoot while he was here so we could show the hat off.

Thanks guys!!

My little Peanut

So today so far has been quite interesting..

First of all, I have decided on a nickname for my baby! Peanut!  I don't know why, but I have decided that is what I am going to call him.  Doesn't he look like a little green peanut in this picture?? (the bottom one) I just love him so much!  

Last night was a good night though.  Josh was an amazing husband and let me sleep most of the night.  He brought Holden to me around 6:30 and I slept the rest of the morning with him.  So far things have been really good, I keep waiting for him to turn into devil baby and we start really freaking out.  But so far it has been amazing!  The bath last night was harsh, but we got through it!  So far, I have been the parent that hasn't really had much compassion when he cries but the bath was rough for me.  I just hate putting him through things like that which he doesn't understand.  But I am sure he was glad he was clean!  

Another "first" that happened today was that Josh was changing Holden and he peed all over him!  It was so great!  I was upstairs and I just hear everyone downstairs just cracking up!  But I was just glad it was him and not me!  :)  

I am going to cut my hair today, on a side note.  It is just so frustrating that it takes me so long to blowdry my hair and that my hair always gets in the way!  So hopefully that turns out okay...

The other picture is from last night, I was trying to get one with his eyes open, since they are beautiful!!! 

More hospital pics

Day 4

So today was a good day.  We had to go back to the hospital and get his bilirubin tested again, and this time he passed!  So no more hospital trips for Holden!  Then we came back and had a good relaxing day.  It is so nice to just spend time with him and Josh and not have to stress about work and life.  Josh and I got lots of sleep last night so we were completely coherent today, instead of falling asleep every 5 minutes like we did yesterday.  We got caught up on our American Idol and other shows while Holden slept, and did some much needed laundry.  At around 3, Leigh came over and held Holden while Josh and I took a nap.  I am so grateful for her and everyone that comes over and wants to hold him.  It makes being a parent so much easier knowing that our kid is surrounded by people who love him.  

My visiting teachers brought over dinner (yummy chicken noodle soup), and so we got to eat dinner before heading to the office to do cleaning/filing.  It was nice to have a family outing :)  

The good news of the day though, is that Holden had his first HUGE poop!  He had two little poops yesterday and today, but today was his first huge major down the leg up the back poop.  I was trying to work and he was being fussy (which he rarely is) and so I figured I should look at his diaper, and I was so glad I did!  I was just laughing the whole time because I was so happy that he is healthy.  Luckily I had a change of clothes in the diaper bag, because we needed them!  It is a great day when things like poop make you happy.  

Wish us luck though, because we are about to give Holden his first bath!  Hopefully Josh can handle the fact that he will cry.  I feel like the mean parent when I don't instantly try to calm him when he cries.  But I think that is good for him!  

Home Sweet Home!

Well today was Holden's first day at home!  We got the go-ahead from the doctor this morning that both he and I were okay to go home, and then we just waited for the few more people to come visit and then at around 3 we left for home.  We got outside and it was a beautiful day!  Sun shining and not a cloud in sight!  Very fitting for the kind of mood everyone was in.  After we had the nurse show us how to get the car seat all hooked up (they are so much more high tech these days!) we were off.  It was one of those moments that you always see dramatized in the movies with the dad driving really really slow with the mom sitting in the back with the newborn, etc. And it was exactly that and more.  I have never been just so happy, I couldn't stop smiling the entire way.  In fact, since we got here I haven't been able to stop smiling.  We actually felt like a family.  He slept the entire way home (of course), and then we had Daniel and Lizzie waiting for us at our house to help with everything.  

It is so surreal to have had all Holden's things ready for about a month now, the changing table, crib, clothes, bath stuff and now it is actually being put to good use.  I can't wait to use it all.  Josh's family just left, and it is always good to see them.  I can't believe how loved Holden is already.  I love hearing people tell me how much they love him when he's only been here for 2 days (exactly!).  I am so proud to be his mommy.  

Now Josh and I are just hanging out by ourselves for what seems like the first time since before I went into labor.  Except we aren't by ourselves.  There is someone else in the room, and he's ours.  We both just can't stop looking at him.  He is perfect in every way and I just can't believe we made him :) 

Josh's sister took a bunch of pictures tonight of him here at home, so I will post those as soon as I get them.  The one on this entry is my favorite one from the hospital.  His side profile is definitely his best side, so I prefer pictures from that angle.  

Holden McKay

Well, I figure that this is as good a time as any to get a blog.  Now that we actually have something to write about :) 

Yesterday was the birthday of our son, Holden McKay.  He weighed 9 pounds and 5 ounces and was 20.5 inches long.  We are so excited that he is finally here! Yesterday was such a long day, but it was so worth it!! Here is the whole story (sparing the gross details that labor always entails):

Around 11pm Friday night, I started having contractions.  They weren't that bad, and they weren't that frequent (about one an hour).  I figured that they were just tiny ones since at my doctor's appointment on Thursday I was only dilated to 1.5cm and there was no way that I could be in labor after that kind of puny diagnosis.  So I had about one an hour throughout the night until about 4am Saturday morning.  Then they started getting closer and closer and more painful.  Josh and I woke up around 7am, and called the hospital to ask when/if we should come up there.  The hospital is a full 30 minute drive from our house, so I didn't want to make the drive if we weren't going to stay.  The nurse he talked to said that if the contractions got to 2-3 minutes apart and I couldn't talk through them then to come up.  I then prepared myself for the chance that we weren't coming back, in other words I showered and did my hair :)  Then when I was in HUGE pain every 2 minutes or so, I realized that we needed to hurry and get to the hospital.  My mom came over and confirmed what Josh and I realized, which was I was definitely in labor, my dad gave me a blessing and then we were on our way.  We left our house around 9:20am, and got to Utah Valley Regional Medical Center in Provo at about 9:50am.

As soon as we got here, we got checked in and they checked my cervix.  I was to a 3 which was all they needed to start the process going quicker.  The doctor broke my water and then we were off.  After the extremely painful contractions of the day, I decided to get an epidural against my previous statement that I was going to do it naturally - (which was crazy).  There was no way in heck I was going to go through those contractions longer then I had to.  So by about 10:30, I was sitting pretty.  In a nice room, with no pain, just waiting to dilate.  My mom and sister Leigh got there around 10:30, bringing books and entertainment getting ready for a long day.  Josh's parents had just left for St. George the day before and so he called them to let them know what was going on and so they started the drive back.  Pretty much from 10:30-5:30 was super boring.  I read some, facebooked some, watched some Gilmore Girls on my laptop, listened to my ipod etc.  I was hoping that I would dilate quick, but I was slow and steady.  At about 5:30, they said I was to a 10 and they just needed to call the doctor and see if he wanted me to wait or start pushing.  While we were waiting for word on that, I had my first freak out.  I realized that I didn't know how to push!! How was I going to know how it felt or if I was doing it right?  

So after about 20 minutes of me freaking out, the nurse came back in and said we were going to push.  

Let's just say that the next hour and 45 minutes was not fun one bit.  

It was by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but I know that it also changed my life.  He came out so perfect and healthy and handsome.  I can't believe that I pushed a 9 pound baby out of me, but I am so glad that I did.  Holden was born at 7:53pm on February 14, 2009.  I jinxed myself when I said that I didn't want him to be born on Valentine's Day, but I decided to look on the bright side.  Josh and I can celebrate Valentine's Day on another day, when the lines to all the nice restaurants are short and all the candy and chocolate is on sale!  And when Holden is older, he's going to be so lucky when some girl falls in love with him.  

I can't believe that I am a mom.  It is truly a miracle to hold a baby in your arms that is yours.  All yours.  (And Josh's of course).  I think about how much my parents mean to me, and it is almost terrifying to think that Josh and I will be that to this baby forever.  I can't wait for him to come home with us tomorrow and we can start watching him grow and teaching him everything he needs for life.  

I don't know if I can do the whole pregnancy/labor thing for a long while, but I am glad that I did.  It is really like no feeling in this whole world.  Life is a miracle :)